Every child is God’s vote of confidence in the parents, by entrusting to them a son or daughter called to eternal happiness. Faith is the best legacy parents can pass on to their children. It is the only thing that’s truly important, since it is what gives ultimate meaning to our life. And God never gives a mission without providing the means needed to carry it out. That is why no human community is better equipped than the family to ensure that faith takes root in a child’s heart.
Bringing up a child in the Catholic faith involves more than just teaching doctrine; it also requires transmitting a way of life. Although the word of God is effective by itself, to spread it God has wanted to make use of the mediation of human testimony. The Gospel is convincing to others when it is seen lived out. This is especially true with children, who have difficulty distinguishing between what is said and who is saying it—even more so when it’s their father or mother who is speaking. Seeing their own father or mother praying thus has quite special meaning and value for them.
Therefore parents have every advantage in communicating faith to their children. More than words, what God expects is that they be pious and consistent in living the faith. The parents’ personal testimony should be evident at all times, giving example to their children with naturalness, without any show. “Let them see you pray. That’s what I saw my parents do, and it’s engraved on my heart. So when your children reach my age, they will fondly remember their mother and father, who forced them only by their example and smile, giving them doctrine when needed, without pestering them.” (St. Josemaria, Madrid, October 1972)
Sometimes children only need to see their parents’ joy after going to confession for faith to take firmer hold in their hearts. The perceptiveness of children should never be underestimated. They know their parents very well, both what’s good about them and what’s not so good, and everything the parents do, or fail to do, is for them a message that positively or negatively affects their development.
Benedict XVI has often stressed that profound changes in institutions and people are usually the result of the saints, not of the learned or powerful: “Amid the vicissitudes of history, it has been the saints who have been the true reformers, who have so often lifted mankind out of the dark valleys into which it constantly runs the risk of sinking back again, and have brought light whenever necessary.” (Benedict XVI, Cologne, August, 2005.)
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Something similar happens in families. Certainly, parents need to find the best pedagogical means to pass on the faith, and seek the formation needed to teach it effectively. But the key is the parents’ own effort to attain holiness. Personal sanctity brings with it the ability to find the best way to teach the faith. “Experience shows in all Christian environments what good effects come from this natural and supernatural introduction to the life of piety given in the warmth of the home. Children learn to place God first and foremost in their affections. They learn to see God as their Father and Mary as their Mother and they learn to pray following their parents’ example. In this way, one can easily see what a wonderful apostolate parents have and how it is their duty to live a fully Christian life of prayer, so they can communicate their love of God to their children, which is something more than just teaching them.” (Conversations with Monsignor Escriva de Balaguer, 103).
Some Specific Points
A number of points that are very important for passing on the faith might be mentioned here. First of all, perhaps, the life of piety within the family, closeness to God in prayer and the sacraments. When parents don’t “hide,” even unintentionally, this area of their life, the relationship with God is manifested by actions that make Him present within the family, in a natural manner that respects the children’s autonomy. Saying grace at meals, reciting with the younger ones morning and evening prayers, teaching them to turn to their guardian angel and to show small signs of affection towards our Lady, are specific ways to foster the virtue of piety in children, giving them resources that can accompany them during their whole life.
Another important means is doctrine. Piety without doctrine is highly vulnerable to the intellectual pressures children will be subjected to throughout their lives. They need a knowledge of apologetics that is both in-depth and practical. Obviously, in this area as well, it’s important to take into account age-specific considerations. Quite often, comments about a current topic or a book will provide a good opportunity to teach doctrine to older children; or it may be they themselves who take the initiative and approach their parents with questions. For younger children, the catechism classes they may receive in the parish or at school are an ideal opportunity for parents to review with them what they have learned, or to teach them in an interesting way certain points of the catechism that may have been omitted. The respect and love parents show for the Church’s teachings will help children understand the importance of studying Jesus’ doctrine.
