Safeguarding fidelity in marriage

1. What can couples do to safeguard fidelity in their marriage?

To safeguard fidelity in their marriage, couples should form their conscience according to the truth about marriage and family life. Each spouse should examine himself or herself frequently on their efforts to be a better spouse and to overcome the obstacles that arise from their own egoism and personal defects. They should resort to prayer and the sacraments in order to strengthen themselves to live out the demands of married life, and seek counsel from persons who have had an exemplary marriage.

2. What are some of the ways that the unity between spouses is grievously harmed?

Unity is grievously harmed when couples disrespect each other and God, the origin of all families, through actions such as: having outside relationships, physical, verbal or psychological abuse, incest, using contraception (abortive techniques are particularly grave), having recourse to artificial fertilization and polygamy. Unity is also grievously harmed by self destructive behaviour such as alcohol and drug abuse.

3. What is the source of division between spouses?

The source of division between spouses is unwillingness to change selfish attitudes and habits out of pride. Humility is needed to recognize ones own failings and shortcomings, and to actively struggle against them. Humility is needed to ask pardon, to forgive, to be understanding and compassionate, to seek guidance and to serve selflessly, trusting always in God’s love and goodness.

4. What are some of the ways that unity is slowly undermined and destroyed?

Unity is slowly undermined and destroyed by mediocrity, indifference and routine in the daily effort to care for the others and to put family life first. The members grow apart when they selfishly give in to gloominess and impatience, become oversensitive to the normal defects of others, harbour resentments and become calculating to escape their duties.

5. What position does the wife hold in the family?

The wife is the heart of the family. On her depends to a large extent the early education and discipline of the children, the transmission of the Faith, family harmony and the tone and order of the entire home. As the heart of the family she naturally rules over the day to day internal affairs of the household.

6. What position does the husband hold in the family?

The husband protects and serves his family by guarding it against harmful influences and by fostering a community of life that is faithful to the truth. As guardian he is the representative leader of the family and naturally responsible for it’s material welfare.

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Each spouse should consider the other the best spouse on earth, because she or he is the one given by God and his or her way to true happiness and holiness on earth.

8. What are some practical ways that spouses can show their love for each other?

Some practical ways to show love, which should never be disregarded or done out of routine, are:

1. Pray constantly and earnestly for the other, asking God for their health, their concerns, their happiness and their holiness.
2. Remember that love means putting great care in the little details of affection, appreciation and service.
3. Favour the likes and preferences of the other above one’s own.
4. Show genuine interest for the concerns and affairs of the other.
5. Make an effort to keep up an attractive appearance.
6. Be welcoming, foster good humour and keep smiling.
7. Be understanding towards the shortcomings of the other.
8. Avoid harsh and unkind words.
9. Make up quickly after arguments, giving in for the sake of peace and unity.
10. Remember that well prepared meals brighten up the home and make the others more willing to help.
11. Take care of the details of order, good manners and decor that make a house a home.
12. Choose the right time, place and manner to bring up unpleasant issues.
13. Don’t let your burdens be overburdening for the others.
14. Create memorable activities to look back on later in life or in moments of doubt.