Guiding a child through the teenage years is a complex venture and one in which many parents today are having great difficulty. In almost every respect, the adolescent situation is becoming worse year after year. Teenage pregnancy, suicide, declining academic achievement scores, drug abuse, juvenile crime, and feelings of despair are statistically overwhelming. (Our own country Trinidad and Tobago is no exception). What’s wrong? Although most parents truly love their teenagers, they don’t know how to convey that love in ways that make their teenagers feel loved and accepted.In addition it’s a Natural Aphrodisiac and Healthful Alternative to pfizer viagra sales. Follow the natural tips above and have a chance to lead a generic levitra find for more info now normal and happy life. Many people don’t have insurance coverage, or their present career path. http://www.cloverleafbowl.com/jid1340.html cialis cost canada Seventy-two percent of men with the alcohol viagra professional price dependence syndrome is diagnosed with sexual dysfunction.
Teenagers: Children in Transition
1. Teenagers are children in transition. Many parents overlook their child-like needs for feeling love and acceptance, for being taken care of, and for knowing that someone cares for them.
2. Teenagers are the most vulnerable persons in this society, and their deepest need is love, more accurately, to feel loved. Teenagers are sometimes described as the apathetic generation. This apathy is on the surface. Beneath this surface can be anger and confusion. Many teenagers see themselves as unappreciated and worthless. This is a natural result of not feeling genuinely loved and cared for. Two of the most frightening results of apathy are depression and revolt against authority.
The Home
1. Regardless of the many distractions in a teenager’s life, home will be the deepest influence.
2. The first responsibility of parents is to provide a loving and happy home, and therefore the most important relationship in the home is between mum and dad.
3. Every teenager needs parents whose marital relationship is one of stability, respect, love and good communication. The ability to communicate feelings, even unpleasant feelings, is critical in a marital relationship. Honest and openly talking it out is absolutely critical.
4. Parents are responsible to meet the emotional needs of their teenagers. If this natural course is reversed and you look to them for emotional nourishment, it will hurt them and destroy their relationship with parents.
5. If parents relinquish or neglect their responsibility to be the authority at home, teenagers will not be happy and feel insecure and would be apt to develop poor behaviour patterns.
Unconditional Love
1. Unconditional love means loving your teenager, no matter how he/she looks, and no matter what his/her assets, handicaps, and behaviour are like. Only unconditional love can prevent problems such as resentment, guilt, fear, or insecurity.
2. “Do you love me?” is absolutely the most important question on a teenager’s mind. Teenagers are like mirrors. They generally reflect rather initiate love. If love is given, they return it.
Focused Attention
1. Focused attention means giving your teenager full, undivided attention in such a way that he or she feels truly loved, knows his/her absolute value that he/she warrants your watchfulness, appreciation, and uncompromising regard. Focused attention is not giving favours, gifts, and granting unusual requests. These can seem to be easier to give as this takes much less time.
2. The best way to give your teenager focused attention is to set aside time to spend together alone. During times of focused attention, give eye contact and appropriate physical contact.. Parents must be alert for unsolicited and sometimes puzzling gestures, that can be a hesitant teenager’s way of asking for time and focused attention.
3. Teenagers have an emotional tank. The fuller the tank, the more positive are his/her feelings and the better his/her behaviour becomes. Parents must keep open the avenues to allow their teenager to return to them to have his or her emotional tank, refilled, regardless of any drive for independence.
From Parent Control To Self-Control
1. Parents should work hand in hand with teenagers to guide them toward responsible independence by the legal age of adulthood. Remind your teenager of this partnership from time to time. As a child moves into the teenage years, discipline and training need to gradually change from a parent-control basis to a parent-trust basis, in which privileges and freedom depend on trustworthiness.
2. Any parental emotional over-reaction will hurt your relationship with your teenager. If parents over-react, always be ready to say sorry and ask for forgiveness. If parents over-react too often, asking forgiveness may not work and may lower your teenager’s opinion of you.
3. In order for your teenager to continue to develop a normal conscience and learn to behave responsively as an adult, he must experience consequences for his behaviour. These consequences must be consistent and fair, and based on behaviour – not how you are feeling at the time.
4. To prepare your teenagers for the future in this world of non-reason, parents must teach them to think clearly, to give them a basic understanding of the world the way it is, to let them understand the difference between right and wrong, to help them make logical, rational decisions for themselves, and help them to develop socially and become socially mature adults. Without this, teenagers cannot have a strong faith or a moral value system.
Source: Dr. Ross Campbell, How to Really Love Your Teenager ISBN 0 946515 22 0. The bracketed text was added for posting
