The Family Enrichment Course – 2011

THE FAMILY COURSE

 As the year has entered its final quarter, I find it apt to share some of my feedback on a Family Enrichment Course that I have been involved in co-ordinating since the start of 2011.

 The Family Course, run by the Caribbean Institute for Family Development (www.cifdtt.org) affiliated to the International Federation for Family Development (IFFD), is targeted at parents who have children who span the stages from toddler to teen-aged adolescence.  Both parents are invited and are strongly urged to attend together.

 This latter aspect is considered key.  For too many families the role of raising the children is often, if not formally acknowledged, seen as the implicit and sole preserve of the mother.

 This could not be a fair way of helping one’s children to develop to their fullest potential as the inputs of both father and mother are required so that the characters of the children can receive the best of the worlds that mummy and daddy and their perspectives can bring to the child.

 The full course embraces 9 case study sessions which is another important feature of the programme.

 The case study approach, tried and tested in the areas of law and business, as a sound methodological approach to learning has become well known.  Foremost among the institutions that employ this technique is theHarvardBusinessSchooland of course, it is used at tertiary level learning institutions extensively, including at the UWI.

 The value for instruction in family life and parenting principles from usage of the case study approach cannot be underestimated.

 One critical benefit is that it helps to ground the parents who participate in the Family Course in a method of dealing with family situations that transcends the spontaneous and emotive and which is frequently so characteristic of how parents treat their children.

 We hear screaming in a room and one child sounding like he or she is being beaten by some instrument or the other.  On entering the room we see the two or three protagonists and judging from what we immediately observe, the parent is likely to rapidly conclude that younger Johnny on the ground was being struck by elder (and likely larger) Derek on the bed.  It does not really matter where the instrument of punishment is located, even if it appears out of reach of the perceived malefactor.

 Well, we could be wrong if the reality was that Johnny was “setting up” Derek and was in fact the actor pretending to be beaten up, so leaving Derek to be the so-called “patsy” or the one who would incur his parent’s wrath and take the blame, in this case, wrongly so.

 Another attribute of the Family Course, that has helped its growing attractiveness and appeal to the couples whom I have known that have done the programme, is that although there is a target number of couples for which the organizers aim, say 15 to 20 couples, discussions always take place firstly at the level of a smaller and manageable group of 5 or so couples.

 In this way an atmosphere of intimacy, which promotes candour in the exchange of views on how best to practise our parenting skills with our children, is promoted.

 This is very critical.  In a large group of 30 or more persons there are always bound to be individuals who are more successful in conveying their opinions to a large audience and who feel comfortable speaking before others.

 As a consequence, persons who are more reserved and who need encouragement to speak and who have an equally valued view that should be shared, could very well have their opinions drowned out and eclipsed from being heard. 
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 This is not the ideal, as all have an experience that as parents, should be circulated and which will redound to the benefit of all who have been invited to participate in the Family Course.  It is required that the smaller groups of say 3-5 couples discuss the case before the scheduled meeting of the total large group, and usually both meetings occur at separate dates and venues. 

 In the smaller groups, couples are normally placed together according to where they reside to facilitate ease of meeting and communication.  One couple in each small group is selected to lead the discussions and volunteer to communicate feedback to the case moderators.

 The moderators for each of the nine cases have the role of precisely guiding, but not dominating, the discussions when the overall large group meets.  For each case the goal is to have a moderator who has specialized in the particular family scenario and who has therefore some amount of experience in analysing the characters and events that comprise the particular situation being discussed.

 Furthermore each case study, which could range from being a birthday party at home that is spoilt by one child’s petulance to the teenager’s weekend away from home that almost ended in near disaster, is accompanied by a technical note.

 This technical note imparts some values and speaks to the theme of the case.  This can range from discipline, order at home, love between the parents to the use of pocket money, guidance on watching television and on reading materials, spiritual values and relations with the opposite sex.

 For my wife and I who have done the course on three occasions, there is always something new to learn in a case.  This takes place no matter how many times I have read the individual case studies, which by the way, are all based on real-life experiences that have occurred in families. 

 Just the names have been changed, as they say, to protect the innocent, but they could easily be a member of your family or mine or someone else’s family that we observe, just down the road and who may just require helpful intervention.

 I do recall fondly the enjoyable and actually entertaining sessions spent with other couples discussing cases and situations affecting our children that are as real and authentic as could possibly be conceived.

 Further it is reassuring that in the 58 other countries, in addition to Trinidad and Tobago, in which the International Federation for Family Development (IFFD) has member organizations, couples also gather to discuss issues of parenting and family life with as much enthusiasm as I have observed for the couples in this country. 

 Each year these member organizations are invited to be represented at International Congresses to discuss issues affecting the family.  In 2010 the Congress took place inValenciainSpainunder the theme “Family,SchoolofHuman Rights.”

 Trinidad and Tobagois not to be left out of these discussions and the local body has invited distinguished personages to speak on issues of family life.  Earlier this year, James Stenson of theUnited Statesshared his numerous years of experience as a school principal and spoke to two audiences locally.

 My hope is that as parents the struggle to form our children should not be viewed as a cause that seems challenged by the bombardment of media, entertainment and the internet.  Instead the terms of engagement must be reversed and parents should instead join with their children, as friends and confidants, to bravely face the world’s realities.

 Gregory O’Young

20^th October 2011